Dear Princess of the Winter Snow,
Remember that one spot on the edge of the cliff, where I loved to sit with my legs stretched on the two rocks right below it? You always asked me what was special about that spot and got annoyed when I didn't explain, because you hated sitting next to my spot on the slightly uncomfortable rock, with me almost blocking your wind and your clouds. Now that I have a relevant context, I'll tell you why I loved that spot. That spot on the edge of the cliff, made me feel like I have the power to look at the end. It felt like a royal throne, from where I could keep an eye on the world, and maybe, if I wanted to, control it. It was the edge, which gave me the responsibility of my fall, but it was also the highest point, which made it my duty to stay put. The beauty of the spot was that I had the city beneath me and sky at the eye level. And when I would look up, I wouldn't know what to expect. Sometimes, I thought I'd see me, staring at myself.
The point of telling you the story of my spot is that, that spot was the one place in the entire world that made me aware of how powerful, my being is. This new place has no spot. It's empty, like space. Without co-ordinates. I can't tell where I am, or in what state. I feel un-responsible for my being. I feel lost all the time. Like a lost kid in an amusement park, except the kid is invisible and no one would ever realise he's lost. I feel like I'm floating in a lucid dream. Jumping from one spot to another, irrelevant to my previous second, like my position is suddenly a variable of the universe.
I've been reading a lot. About science, about the universe, about creation. The vastness of hypothesis astonishes me, makes me wonder if someone is just wondering about the world. Like we are a part of a random imagination.
You know if I am actually just a part of an imagination, I'd like to be a part of yours. Then I would have a mind of my own. In that imagination, I'd imagine my own little imaginations. The circle of imagination and the imagined would be so complex that It'd make our imaginary heads spin. We'd be a part of a whirl. I think that'd be fun. Like being in a perpetual Ferris wheel.
Yes, I drift. To doubts and dilemmas and loneliness maybe. I drift in your thought and in memories. I slip on the snow, and drift to a different lane. But it's snowing hard and slowly, my feet are sinking deeper, making darker footprints, and fewer drifts. I'm settling in. In the newer spot, finding my co-ordinates, claiming a point in space and time.
I sometimes hope, in one of my drifts, that I slide down to where you are, with your feet firm in the ground, and you catch hold of me, till we settle in that spot and claim it, for eternity.
Later
The Lord of Darkness
Remember that one spot on the edge of the cliff, where I loved to sit with my legs stretched on the two rocks right below it? You always asked me what was special about that spot and got annoyed when I didn't explain, because you hated sitting next to my spot on the slightly uncomfortable rock, with me almost blocking your wind and your clouds. Now that I have a relevant context, I'll tell you why I loved that spot. That spot on the edge of the cliff, made me feel like I have the power to look at the end. It felt like a royal throne, from where I could keep an eye on the world, and maybe, if I wanted to, control it. It was the edge, which gave me the responsibility of my fall, but it was also the highest point, which made it my duty to stay put. The beauty of the spot was that I had the city beneath me and sky at the eye level. And when I would look up, I wouldn't know what to expect. Sometimes, I thought I'd see me, staring at myself.
The point of telling you the story of my spot is that, that spot was the one place in the entire world that made me aware of how powerful, my being is. This new place has no spot. It's empty, like space. Without co-ordinates. I can't tell where I am, or in what state. I feel un-responsible for my being. I feel lost all the time. Like a lost kid in an amusement park, except the kid is invisible and no one would ever realise he's lost. I feel like I'm floating in a lucid dream. Jumping from one spot to another, irrelevant to my previous second, like my position is suddenly a variable of the universe.
I've been reading a lot. About science, about the universe, about creation. The vastness of hypothesis astonishes me, makes me wonder if someone is just wondering about the world. Like we are a part of a random imagination.
You know if I am actually just a part of an imagination, I'd like to be a part of yours. Then I would have a mind of my own. In that imagination, I'd imagine my own little imaginations. The circle of imagination and the imagined would be so complex that It'd make our imaginary heads spin. We'd be a part of a whirl. I think that'd be fun. Like being in a perpetual Ferris wheel.
Yes, I drift. To doubts and dilemmas and loneliness maybe. I drift in your thought and in memories. I slip on the snow, and drift to a different lane. But it's snowing hard and slowly, my feet are sinking deeper, making darker footprints, and fewer drifts. I'm settling in. In the newer spot, finding my co-ordinates, claiming a point in space and time.
I sometimes hope, in one of my drifts, that I slide down to where you are, with your feet firm in the ground, and you catch hold of me, till we settle in that spot and claim it, for eternity.
Later
The Lord of Darkness
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